literature

Trying and Failing

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n1saxmds's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

What's the point in trying
If all I do is fail?
Once again I sit
And watch my life derail

I messed up again
Like I always do
I feel that it is pointless
To try to begin anew

I'm not getting better
It always ends the same
It'll be good at first
But then I'll be left with pain

But I bring this on myself
I can't do anything right
No matter how much I try
No matter how long I fight

I'm always left with nothing
At the end of it all
Left with nothing but the fear
That I will always fall

I don't know what to do
I don't know what I need
To change the way I am
So I can finally succeed

I'm starting to lose hope
In ever changing me
In ever becoming the person
The Lord wants me to be

Will I ever be that person?
Will I ever get there?
Please help me, Lord
Please hear my prayer

Help me to be strong
Please help me to get through
I can't do this by myself
The one I need is You

So please help me out
Don't give up on me
Or I'll give up on myself
And then where will I be?

If I give up now
I will never be free
Of these chains that pull me down
It'll be the end of me.
So I was pretty down on myself last night. I think the fact that I lost my job finally hit me hard. I wanted to SI, but I didn't. All those pictures in my room with Christ in them caught my eye when I considered doing it. I knew He would be sad. So I resisted. This poem was actually half this length, but as I was writing it to submit on here, I thought it didn't sound finished. So I wrote another stanza, and then another, and then another. I guess I was just venting through my fingers, and it wouldn't stop until I got it all out. So yeah, it's longer than I had originally intended. But whatever, I needed to get it out. So yeah, I don't really care if you like it or not, it was mainly for me anyways. I just needed to vent.
Comments1
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Bark's avatar
Keep fighting!